Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Taking a Step Back

Bumblebee is a very slow learner.  He does eventually figure things out, but it takes a lot of time.  He also has no concept of personal space or belongings.  An issue that has been going on for a long time is with food.

Bumblebee looks frail.  He's very bony and petite.  He eats like a horse but is always hungry and simply does not gain weight.  There isn't anything wrong with him though, this is a family trait and yes, we have verified with testing.

Lil' Bit also likes to eat but she is a lot slower.  Bumblebee will finish his meal and then go over to Lil' Bit and start to take food off her plate.  This is after he has finished a plate that would put me in a food coma.  Lil' Bit is justifiably upset and whacks him on the arm.  Once upon a time, I would have corrected this.

After months of this and the same behavior being repeated daily, I am stepping back.  I have been punishing one for defending her own food and the other simply doesn't care what you punish him with.  What does that teach them?

I am now allowing Lil' Bit to exercise her right to defend not only her food, but whatever she is currently playing with as well.  Bumblebee is learning that simply because you want something, does not give you the right to take it; and if you try, there are consequences.  I prefer that they learn these lessons in a controlled environment than where they could seriously get hurt.

Bumblebee has taken things from others in public and has been bruised and knocked down for this.  The other child uses excessive force and Bumblebee doesn't understand and he never fights back.  This causes him pain mentally and physically.  The mental pain is from his feelings of being wronged.

I don't like to see this behavior in any of my children, but looking at the long term, my daughter needs to know that she can defend her rights, and my son needs to learn that you can't simply take what you want.  The world is a hard place, but it's my responsibility to ensure that they can turn into happy and productive adults.

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