Just when you think things are OK

C-note is in Cub scouts.  It's his first year and he loves it.  He's a Tiger cub, where it all begins.

October is the month that most scouts are in Health and Safety.  We love the Go See It sections so we organized it this time.  For our safety section, we had to go to a Fire or Police department.  We chose the Fire Station.  C-note has been to one before and enjoyed the experience.  This time, not so much.

I'm thankful that I was able to devote my time to C-note as his younger 2 siblings were home with my hubby, Jeremy.  C-note was a clinging vine the whole time.  I had to urge him forward just to stay with the group.  Usually, when there's something new to learn, he will be in the front of the group and asking all sorts of questions.  I encouraged him to join his friends, but when he would reach the edge of the group he would come right back to me and wrap my arms around him.

I learned long ago, that you never try to push a child into something they're uncomfortable with.  That was often done to me as a child and I still resent those times.  It never made me like it, it did the exact opposite.  So that is one thing I will never do to my children and will not allow to have done to my children.

At one point of our tour, they had a Rookie gear up completely.  While all of the kids found it fascinating, C-note was terrified.  He hid.  We stayed in the back and I let him hide.  Another fireman was close by and let C-note take the time to go to the restroom.  On the way back I asked the man to talk with C-note and ease his fear.  He understands mentally that they are there to help, but he can't control the fear of seeing them.  At the end, because he knew what they looked like when they were in their gear, he wouldn't go near them or look at them.  When asked what makes him afraid, he said it's the color of their uniform.  I think it was more that you can't see any of their skin.  But he tried to explain, which he could once upon a time.

It could have been that he was having an "off" day and was more sensitive to the unusual; or it could be that he maintains his fear of firemen and women in complete gear.  I hope not, because if he ever needs their help, I don't want him to run from them.  But, the last time I saw him so afraid was when he about clawed my husbands face off to get away from a man dressed up as Scooby Doo when he was 3yrs old.  We thought that he had gotten past this sort of thing, but apparently it still bothers him.  I don't care if he ever wants to shake hands or be hugged by a random person in a costume.  But I would like him to be able to appreciate the risks that these brave men and women take to keep us safe.  And maybe someday, he'll be able to shake the hand of one of them and tell them "thank you"

Chewable Necklace Review

C-note likes to chew and put things in his mouth.  He has been known to lick door handles, chew remote controls and stair railings, just to name a few.  For infants and toddlers this behavior is expected and accepted; but it's not acceptable for a 7yr old boy.  So, what could I do?

I started reading up on the issue and found that there are things called Chew Tubes.  They looked great.  The problem was that he would have to carry them around and he would forget where he put it.  My thought was that he would need something that would hang on his neck.  I entered the search of "chewable necklace" on www.Amazon.com and came up with 485 results.  There are so many options.  Unfortunately, most of them look too "girlie" for C-note.

We started out with this one:  Star Chewable Necklace

I was great.  C-note loved it and would ask for it, until one day a child a kindergarten made a negative comment.  I don't know what was said, he was unable to verbalize the interaction.  But, that was it, and he never wanted to wear it again.  We did have him wear it at home, which he didn't like, so ended up giving it to the puppy.  FYI, a puppy can destroy this necklace in less than 5 minutes.

The chewing didn't improve, so, this time I let him pick out his own.  This was his choice:  Organic Phoenix Chewable Necklace.

There are times that I have to remind him to put it on, but this practically lives in his mouth.  After 2 months of use, it still looks new.  The nylon cord is very long, but can be shortened to whatever size is needed.  It would be nice if the breakaway clasp were more sturdy, but, for the price, it can't be beat.  Since it is a ring, it is easy to bend and flex.  This has caused me concern at times because C-note chews this in all directions, but there are no cracks.

This necklace has been great for my moderate chewer and I recently ordered an identical backup.   C-note's Occupational Therapist also loves this product and is also recommending these to her other patients.

My Family is Different, So What.

I have been asked many times recently if it upsets or bothers me that C-note has High Functioning Autism and/or Sensory Processing Disorder.  I know that some moms may feel this way, but I never have.  Have I been upset by some of the behavior it causes?  Yes, but that's because I couldn't understand WHY he was doing the things he does.  I actually find having a diagnosis was very helpful.

Why do I feel this way?  Society says you can't be different.  But that can't be further from the truth.  As I tell my kids, if we were all the same in our thoughts and deeds then nothing would ever change.  We would never see any reason to improve ourselves, what would be the point?  We would not have diverse inventions, because we would only need one thing to suit all needs.  And lets face it, life would be extremely boring.

Getting a diagnosis didn't change my son.  He is still the same child that he was even the day before.  The difference is that I know can understand him better, and help him understand himself.  Think about that for a minute....Do you really understand what that means?  He is just the way he needs to be and he will look at things in ways a 'normal' person wouldn't.  He asks questions that often leave me stumped due to their complexity and depth.  He will learn to problem solve to a much greater extent than many of his peers because he has to learn ways of adapting to the world around him.

Bumblebee is another wonder.  We're still trying to figure him out.  While C-note will not deviate from a given rule, Bumblebee will reinterpret the rules to suit him.  He is what many would call sly.  He will follow the rules  but bend them in a way that isn't really breaking them.  When you point this out, he gives his best baby blue eye smile.  His smile can melt the coldest of hearts and he has a personality to match.  The world is his oyster.  If something confuses him, he just changes the subject and ignores the trouble.  This makes him a very happy person, until he can't avoid the problem anymore.  When he's run out of evasion tactics Bumblebee panics and melts.  We're working on this, but he's 4.5yrs old.  He'll get there.

To ask me if it bothers me that my children are different, or not like their peers is crazy and a bit offensive.  I wonder if it bothers them that their kids were born boys or girls?  It's the same thing. They are all unique and special.  We all have quirks, some people simply have more quirks than others.

Experiences in Sensory Processing Disorder

Every child is different.  Every child will react differently in any situation.  C-note has sensory processing disorder.  Does this mean that there is something 'wrong' with him? no.  It simply means that his brain processes sensations differently than most people.  In his case, everything is bigger, louder and more intense.  We always knew that something was unusual in him, even as an infant, he couldn't tolerate being touched and we had to hold him away from our bodies to calm him.  At 7yrs he still struggles with the loudness of the vacuum cleaner and has to be in a different room.

Eating is also a struggle.  C-note doesn't like starches, including rice, pasta, potatoes; gags on root vegetables; anything green; any rough textured fruit, like apples and pears; and he does not like sauces on is food.  So, basically, he likes very plain, and smooth food that has little to no color.  We avoided taking him out to restaurants until he was about 4.5yrs old because we never knew when it would end up with screaming, crying  or even throwing up on the tables.

Over time, and a lot of trial and error, we have found that there are things that C-note simply can not handle, and we don't push those things on him.  There are things though, that he does not have as great of an aversion, so we slowly integrate them.  Just earlier this year he would melt over a carrot on his plate, now he is able to eat one at meal time.  He also changed his mind about Ranch dressing, which is now the only way to get him to eat a veggie.

C-note went to a private kindergarten.  He learned a terrific amount of information, but he was constantly in sensory overload.  When a child with SPD is in overload they can act out or act erratically.  This is what C-note did.  His teacher insisted that he had ADHD because he couldn't stop fidgeting, he would randomly walk out of the room, he would get loud and produce large uncontrolled motions.  I would get condemning letters home weekly.  I met or spoke with the teacher several times a week about helping him, but was only met with resistance.  Because his overload looks like ADHD, then in her mind, he should be able to control himself.

C-note homeschools now and we introduce new experiences and tastes slowly.  He has good days and bad days; but so does everyone else.  He is also learning to recognize and express his feeling about things better.  He is also getting better about removing himself from a stressor.